Group Dynamics – Reattending and Reflecting

This paraphrase from the work of Dr Will Schutz, originator of FIRO® (Fundamental Interpersonal Relationships Orientation) theory, really resonated with me during my second experience of the Group Dynamics course. Though I’m sure it had a similar impact when I first did the course in 2022, this time it felt more understood – grounded by my experience as a practicing facilitator. So, it feels fitting to begin here, because the course itself is centred on personal experiences in groups, and for me, it really was, and is, all about how I feel about how I feel.

Before I share my reflections, let me explain why I’m writing this. When I considered the possibility of attending Group Dynamics for the second time, I was invited to write something sharing my thoughts, and so here we are.

Looking back: My first experience of Group Dynamics 

Ahead of the two days, I spent a little time reflecting on the last time I did the course - over three years ago, at a different venue, and as a facilitator still on the journey to accreditation. My career and role as a facilitator looked very different then.

Then, my group included a number of people who had done the Facilitator Skills and Strategies training with me, and yet I was nervous. Would people be more experienced than me? Was I a good facilitator, or just becoming one? The imposter syndrome was very real.

This time, things obviously felt very different for me. I was aware I was joining the group from a different place to others, and that they may have been feeling and thinking the very things I had the first time around.

I was looking forward not just to participating again and engaging with the learning, but also to supporting others on the course. I hoped I might be able to offer something different this time as a participant, something that would add value to everyone's experience, including my own.

That reflection continued throughout the two days, and I found myself sharing what felt different with the group. For example, where my answer to a question had changed since I first took part.

So why repeat the course if you’ve done it before? 

As we know, this course focuses on your personal process as a group member and what that means for your facilitator style in the groups, contexts and situations you work with. That style, and those situations, are ever-changing. And because the course is rooted in experiential learning (something all AoF courses are built on), the experience is never the same. 

Returning to it at a different moment in time brings new insight and changes in your work, life, or practice will inevitably shift how the course lands. Each time, it offers fresh value and a different kind of learning. 

My role as a facilitator, and the context I work in now (as an external facilitator, rather than internally within an organisation), meant that my learning this time round was very different. So too did the fact that I’ve now been an accredited practicing facilitator for over three years – I had more experience to reflect on. I was now working with different groups and contexts and contracting more explicitly with those groups - who are now my paying clients. 

All of this, and the meaningful reflection it brings, came up during my re-accreditation last year, and repeating group dynamics gave me the opportunity to re-engage with it all and go a little deeper.  

It also gave me the chance to revisit the theory and frameworks, and get back into a deeper learning mindset, with real space for reflection. Don’t get me wrong: as a facilitator I’m learning, reflecting, and evaluating all the time, but having protected time and space to do just that, with peers, is something quite different. And incredibly valuable. It’s hard to carve out time for real reflection within the busyness of day-to-day life. 

Returning for me: What felt different this time and what came up for me 

I won’t dwell too long here, as, by nature, this is personal and feels almost self-indulgent, but to give a sense of how the experience shifted for me as an accredited facilitator repeating the course:

Firstly, as you might expect, the type of reflection was different, and came from a different place. I was re-engaging with the learning, rather than experiencing it for the first time.

In my first experience of Group Dynamics, I became aware of the effect that ‘group and system dynamics have on me, including; my attitudes, assumptions, personal triggers, and defences’. The second time around I found that I reflected on and revisited those insights. Some of them I challenged in myself. I noticed what’s changed, and what has grown.

A few key things came up for me.

I understood group dynamics on a deeper level. I could not only recognise them more clearly in the situations I’ve worked in but also see how my awareness of them was now shaping the way I work with groups day to day. It wasn’t just theoretical; the learning and my knowledge of group dynamics was embedded in my practice.

One big shift was how I relate to conflict. During the course of the first time, and during my accreditation in 2022, conflict was a major theme for me. It was both a challenge and a trigger. Back then, I remember, conflict felt terrifying.

This time, there was a noticeable difference. It was no longer a dominant theme, nor anxiety inducing. Thanks to the experience gained over the years, and the contexts I work in now, I felt more confident. And I realised something else: being an external facilitator also made a difference. I reflected that perhaps my previous fear of conflict was linked to being more known, which meant feeling more vulnerable. It dawned on me how different the power dynamics are when working as an internal facilitator.

As an internal facilitator, knowledge of the group and organisation is a strength, and we explored this during the course. This had meant, for me, that conflict felt personal. I was inevitably and inextricably part of those groups and system dynamics. There are work relationships at play.

As an external facilitator, that personal layer is not as present. Conflict doesn’t feel so threatening. On the course this time, I wasn’t scared of it arising, and I feel empowered by my new perspective.

It’s worth saying: conflict is still something I’d prefer to avoid. I strive for harmony as a facilitator (don’t we all?), but I feel better equipped now. I understand better what conflict means for me as a facilitator, in a variety of contexts and situations.

This reflection links closely with what came up for me around the FIRO® model. Previously, the fear of humiliation felt predominant (underpinned by a desire to feel competent). This time, it felt more like fear of rejection (underpinned by a desire to feel likeable). Of course, it varies, situation to situation, group to group, but it felt different.

And perhaps that’s also shaped by my context now. As a freelance facilitator, quite practically, I need people to like and want to work with me. That’s part of the reality!

Finally, my reflections during the two days weren’t just about “how you feel about how you feel”, but how I feel about how I feel. Let me explain...

I’m okay with all the fears in the FIRO® model - being ignored, humiliated, or rejected. I’m comfortable acknowledging them, reflecting on them, and making sense of them (Kolb’s experiential learning model). These are natural parts of my ongoing development as a facilitator and in my ‘squiggly’ career.